


It Started with Two Men

by Missy_dee811



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Vol. 5 (2013), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Tony Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 04:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5319710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy_dee811/pseuds/Missy_dee811
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve remembers and confronts Tony but there's more to Tony's confession than Steve had ever thought possible:</p><p>“Tony, I –” </p><p>Tony cut him off with the wave of a hand. “Why can’t you understand that everything I do, I do for you?” He was sobbing now into his hands, covered in blood. It was jarring to see Tony like this. Steve didn’t know how to respond. This didn’t go as planned, he thought to himself. He hadn’t expected a heartfelt confession. In truth, he had expected more lies, more deceit. He felt like the world’s greatest asshole for using his best friend as a punching bag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Started with Two Men

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tarialdarion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarialdarion/gifts).



> This diverges from canon after Avengers #29.

Steve came crashing through the door, followed by Natasha, Clint, and Thor. Tony dropped his tools and sighed, “You do know it was open…” Frustration pouring over him.

“I remember,” said Steve with each word piercing Tony, who knew it must mean…

 _It had always been a matter of time_ , he thought as the blood drained from his face.

He brought his hands to his face as he closed his eyes. He was so tired. “Everyone out.” Needn’t be told twice, the team left as quickly as they had assembled, leaving Tony and Steve alone with their problems. Tony sighed again, “Steve, can we –”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his thought before Steve pummeled him to the floor. For a moment far too long to be fleeting, Tony wanted to it to end. He whispered, “What are you waiting for? Finish it.”

It must have been what he said because Steve looked as if he had seen double. He stood up shakily looking at the blood dripping down Tony’s nose where he had broken it. Tony, who was no stranger to pain, knew he deserved it but Steve… He had intended to hurt him with that punch.

“Anthony, I –” Steve struggled to find the words for which he was searching. Tony stood clutching his broken nose and steadying himself with the other hand.

“What the fuck? You were my friend, my partner, why would –” his words trailed off. Tony couldn’t make out Steve’s expression. He wondered if Steve was admiring his handiwork or trying to conceal how he actually felt about breaking Tony’s nose; Tony wasn’t sure.

For a third time that day, he started up again, “I have missed enough of my life for you to fuck around with the memories I do have! Who –”

It was Tony’s turn to cut him off, anger simmering to the surface. “I did you a fucking favor! At least no one is going to blame you and hold you responsible for shit you can’t even remember doing! YOU of all people shouldn’t talk because you’re the first person to jump down my throat! You’re doing it now! I deleted my fucking brain to save us all, and in the process, the reason we fought – the reason you DIED – became a moot point. No, but you never stop to think of it that way, do you? At least your death was painless –”

Tony knew he had taken it too far. He had said it out of spite but he knew it wasn’t true, even if he couldn’t remember. He braced himself for the punch he knew was coming. He felt a few teeth fly out as he landed on the floor in a heap of discarded scraps of metal. If he hadn’t been wearing the suit, they would’ve punctured his rib cage from the force of the fall.

“Anthony, you have some fucking nerve…” gritted Steve through his teeth.

“No, you don’t get to act righteous! Not this time, Steve. Yeah, I fucked up. You know what else is fucked up, that there’s not a damn person alive right now that can tell me what I was thinking during the war but every day I’m reminded of my actions and how America’s favorite son was dead and Tony Stark, the Merchant of Death, victoriously emerged as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.…” The bitterness in Tony’s voice gave Steve pause. He looked into those blue eyes and saw despair. He had seen that look before and he had hoped never to see it again.

“Steve… I only remember the news footage of your funeral. The one at which I was too emotional to even speak. How the do you think that feels?” Tony spoke softly as if the words themselves pained him. _They probably do_ , thought Steve to himself. Tony paused, as if waiting for an answer, but none came.

Steve could hardly look him in the face as Tony continued in between deep breaths. The anger in his voice was long gone, replaced by something else, something Steve couldn’t identify. _Sadness? Hopelessness?_

“Steve, I did you a favor. I carry the burden, the weight of our choices that day – not you – not that that’s any different from what I’ve been doing this past year…”

Try as he might, the tears were streaming down his bruised and bloodied cheeks. He couldn’t hold them back; it was all too much. Steve seemed to have regained his composure as Tony lost his.

“Tony, I –”

Tony cut him off with the wave of a hand. “Why can’t you understand that everything I do, I do for you?” He was sobbing now into his hands, covered in blood. It was jarring to see Tony like this. Steve didn’t know how to respond. _This didn’t go as planned_ , he thought to himself. He hadn’t expected a heartfelt confession. In truth, he had expected more lies, more deceit. He felt like the world’s greatest asshole for using his best friend as a punching bag.

He knelt down next to Tony by the pile of discarded materials on which he had fallen. Tony looked up, blue eyes meeting blue eyes, when Steve touched his knee. He took in a slow, deep breath. “Steve, I never should have been brought back. They should’ve let me die. I did die.” He took another deep breath, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way –” He started crying again.

Tony had never shown Steve, or anyone, this kind of intensity before and Steve didn’t know what to make of it. He thought to himself, _it would be cruel if I just left him_.

“So, how was it supposed to be?”

Tony looked up, blinking tears out of his eyes, shocked by the question, fumbling for words. “That war should never have happened. I – I should’ve done more to prevent it. I saw it coming but, even now, I still don’t know everything.” His voice was rough but steadier than it had been.

Steve offered him a hand, helping him on his feet. He was still angry, he could feel his blood coursing through his veins, but Tony’s honesty had taken him aback. _Maybe it’s not impossible to start over_ , he thought as he helped Tony clean up the disaster he had helped make.

Steve thought, _if we were to step out of this room, we‘d have to answer the knowing looks on the team’s faces_. It was that, more than anything else that convinced Steve this was the right course of action, so he pulled a chair over and sat next to Tony, who was sitting at his desk.

From the corner of his eye, Steve could tell he looked terrible. Extremis had helped heal his nose but the blood had congealed. There was still bruising on his cheeks. Tony’s haunting look affected Steve the most. His eyes exacerbated his pain. They always spoke so little or so much.

Steve half hated himself. He was the reason for all of this.

“I take it you’re done trying to kill me now.” Tony’s matter-of-fact tone surprised him. _Had that really been my intention?_ Steve didn’t trust his voice so he just nodded in response. “Good, I guess we can talk now.”

“We should’ve done this sooner,” said Steve moments later, breaking the silence that had filled the space between them. _Death wasn’t nearly as quiet_ , he thought. He looked over at the bruising, which was starting to change color; it was no longer bluish purple but yellow-green.

Steve placed his hand on Tony’s knee. Tony didn’t jerk away, pleasantly surprising Steve, who didn’t say anything about the fact.

Tony spoke quietly, “It was either you or both of us and I couldn’t have that.” Steve felt the room temperature drop. The blood that had so quickly started to boil froze. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Tony continued, “None of this has ever been easy or simple or straightforward.” He stood up, the armor falling off, sinking into his skin. Steve wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to that, the way Tony’s armor had become one with his bones.

Steve had seen Tony in the nude plenty of times before. They had known each other for many years, fighting both alongside and against each other. This time it was different. This time, Tony had exposed himself. He’d made himself vulnerable. He’d opened up in a way Steve had thought wasn’t possible given all that had happened between them in the last few years. Steve had never been so thankful to be wrong.

It was then he noticed the bruising on his back, where he had absorbed the shock of the second fall. It pulled him out of his reverie. Steve bit back the anger that was rising to the surface. _I did that_.

“Steve, I know you slept for decades as the world kept moving, I know you’ve had to relive your darkest days but…” said Tony as he threw a shirt over his head and pulled on a pair of sweatpants he had lying around. He paused, gathering up the courage to admit something that had pained him for years. “I don’t have that luxury. The world moved on but I have never been able to, I have never been given the option TO move on…”

Steve started pacing around the room. He knew what Tony said was true but his mind wouldn’t let him believe it. _This is just another excuse, just another justification, a way of distancing himself from those he supposedly cares about._ He knew better than to listen to those thoughts but he couldn’t help it. They brought his anger up to the surface again. He held onto the desk for he couldn’t afford to lose control again.

This time he spoke, “You’ve isolated yourself, Tony. Take this up with the team, not me! I was dead! How is this my fault? Even if it was, it still doesn’t justify wiping my fucking mind!”

“Dammit Steve, I’m not trying to justify anything! Are you even paying attention? I’m trying to tell you everything. The whole story but you’re only hearing what you want to hear, as always. God, why is this so difficult? Why are you so difficult?” Tony hadn’t meant to raise his voice but he couldn’t control his anger. _It seems I can never control myself around Steve_.

He had stopped pacing and was now standing in front of Steve, who was still clutching the desk. It was the only thing keeping him firmly in place.

“This is exactly why we never seem to be able to move forward… I blame myself and you – and everyone else, for that matter – blame me, but I can’t do this alone. I’ve never been able to do this alone. I will own up to all of my many mistakes but Steve, I’m not the only one that makes them. Listen, if you ever want this change, you’re going to need to make amends too.” He spoke so quietly, his voice was hoarse.

Steve took a deep breath. “Tony – yes, well –” he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, then dropping them to his sides, “what do you want me to say? You’re the one who thinks I’m perfect.” Tony grumbled and started pacing again but Steve ignored him. “But I’m not, I – I expect too much of you. I’m sorry.”

Tony moved closer intently reading Steve’s face, finally nodding only when he accepts Steve’s apology. “I – well, thank you,” said Tony. He hadn’t expected Steve to acquiesce so quickly. “Steve, everyone feels inadequate next to you. God knows I always have. But, I’m not half as good at anything as I am when I’m standing next to you and that has always been true but sometimes, our emotions get the best of us.”

Steve grabbed Tony’s hand, resting his thumb on his knuckles. He could feel his pulse slowing at his touch. “Tony, you don’t have to do this alone. You have me.”

“Do I?” asked Tony in the same hushed whisper Steve had just used. “You were beating me to a bloody pulp earlier today. Now, I fully accept that I deserved that, but –” Tony was left speechless as he gazed into Steve’s bright blue eyes. He couldn’t identify the emotion he saw in them but he was in awe.

Steve raised his hand and caressed Tony’s neck. “I deserved an explanation, you didn’t deserve a beating. I apologize.”

Tony’s breathing quickened. _Oh God, am I dreaming? Is this really happening?_

The next thing he knew, Steve’s lips were on his, and the world around them seemed to float away. The kiss was chaste and they pulled away quickly. _Please, please tell me that wasn’t a dream_.

“Did what I think just happened actually happen?” asked a nervous Tony and Steve, not trusting his voice, just nodded, his smile slowly turning into a grin. A small blush creeping along his neck.

“Holy shit. How – when – really?” Tony scrabbled for words but he was smiling now, trying to hide his grin behind his fingers as he touched his lips. He could still taste Steve. “Oh God, I hope I never forget this,” said Tony, who couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice.

Steve laughed but it wasn’t unkind. “I don’t know how long. I don’t know when it happened, but it’s true. I love you, Tony Stark.”

Steve let his eyes roam over Tony. Tony, who looked slimmer and more disheveled than he had since he stopped drinking, whose bags had bags, never looked more beautiful to Steve than he did now. The despair that had been present not too long ago was long gone. Tony was looking at him as if seeing him for the first time. Steve had never seen Tony look at him like that, like he wanted to both protect and devour him. Steve wasn’t sure which option he preferred and he wouldn’t linger on that now for he was sure his eyes mirrored the shock and satisfaction Tony felt.

Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. “I have always loved you, from the day we found you in the ice. Our years of fighting had me thinking it was unrequited but I can’t tell you how glad I am to know it’s not. Please God; don’t ever let me forget this.” He rested his head on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer, closing the space between them with a kiss. It was just the right amount of hesitance and passion. It answered questions and posed more.

“See, this is how it should’ve been.”

“Oh my God Steve, you can’t say things like that to me! Yes, of course. You’re right.”

“So, no more secrets? No more trying to solve problems before they begin. I can’t say we won’t fight –” Tony laughed but stopped when Steve gave him a reproving look. “Tony, I’m trying to be serious!”

Tony shrugged, “I know, I know, I’m not laughing at you – really – I just have a hard time believing all I had to do was confess my love to you for you to finally see –”

Steve cut him off, “Stop. Don’t – don’t ruin the moment. I let you talk.” He sighed, “You’re doing it again… You’re incorrigible,” said Steve but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Just – just promise me you’ll stop trying to fix everything by yourself –”

Tony was still trying to control his laughter, and once again, he was failing. Steve was growing impatient, “You’re absolutely hopeless,” said Steve, resigned, when it was evident Tony wasn’t going to stop. At this point, Tony had given in and was cackling with laughter. Steve tried, to no avail, to remain serious.

Tony smirked, “Yeah, I’m hopelessly in love with you.”

Steve rolled his eyes but hugged him; leaning against his cheek, Tony’s stubble tickling him. Tony pulled back and cupped his cheeks. “We’ll talk later, I swear, please just let me enjoy this moment.”

“Me? You’re the one who’s killing the moment with your incessant laughter! I’m trying to be honest with you –” He sighed, stopping mid-sentence. Instinctively, he knew Tony was right: there would be time to talk later. They had been more open and honest with each other in the last few hours than they had ever been in years.

“Okay, okay go get yourself cleaned up… You know, I’m surprised the team hasn’t come –”

“I think they’re afraid of what they’ll find,” said Tony as he bit Steve’s lower lip. Steve couldn’t argue with that logic. He hadn’t wanted to leave for the same reason, although, now he was happy he stayed.

“Wait, does this mean all those meals were dates?"

Tony threw his head back and laughed. "Only if you want them to be.”

He bit Steve’s lower lip a little harder this time. Steve retaliated by grabbing a handful of Tony’s hair as he kissed him, relishing in the opportunity to taste him.

“Whoa, slow down soldier! You have to take me out first,” said Tony, coyly.

Steve responded, “You’re impossible. Go get dressed before I regret this.”

“Captain Handsome, aren’t you going to get dressed?” asked Tony, coquettish.

“I am… but first, what do we tell the team?”

“Nothing,” responded Tony, too quick for Steve’s liking.

“Tony, I said no more lies. That includes lying to the team.”

“Fine, fine. Tell them the truth. Tell them you broke my nose, I broke down crying, we confessed our love, and now we’re going out to dinner. Surely, they can handle a night by themselves without the world crumbling.”

Steve just stared at him in disbelief. He shook his head. “They’ll never believe us.”

Tony laughed, clutching his chest. “I know they won’t but it’s the truth. I wish I was there to see Clint’s face but I need to shave.”

Steve kissed him one last time before kicking him out of the lab.

He had thought his childhood friend had died only to find out a Nazi scientist had turned him into a weapon when he woke up. He had seen Tony sacrifice himself countless times. He had seen him almost succumb to his addiction and then rise above it. They had fought both publicly and privately, on the battlefield and at home. He had died and been brought back to life – now a martyr for a lost cause – and a hundred other things, but telling his teammates what had occurred was going to be one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do.

He braced himself. When he entered the room, Natasha came up to him first, worry evident only for a fraction of a second before her cool demeanor took its place. “Steve, where’s Tony?” _What happened? What did you to him?_ Her eyes pleaded.

“He’s showering. We’re going out. Will everyone be alright?”

Clint looked over, meeting Natasha’s eyes. Shock and confusion flashed across their faces. Clint turned to Steve and said, “Cap, what the fuck is going on? You stormed in there, started beating the shit out of the Tony – he probably deserved it, but still. You’ve been gone for hours! You can’t just expect us to believe everything’s peachy.”

“No, I don’t expect you to believe anything. I’m telling you everything will be fine and that I’m going to dinner with Tony.”

Clint looked aghast. “You – and – and Stark… Nat, are you listening to this?”

Natasha smiled. She was still standing next to Steve, who was silently laughing at Clint’s expense. She leaned over and kissed his cheek while whispering in Russian, “Finally.” Steve looked at her, allowing his smile to reach his eyes. Just then, she pointed to something – or someone – behind him.

Tony walked over, adjusting his tie as he walked; he was sporting a perfectly trimmed goatee. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a blue tie that matched his eyes. His favorite sunglasses rested on top of his head. Smirking as he said, “Hawkeye never misses.”

Tony caught Steve eyeing him up and down as he walked forward, and without taking his eyes off him said, “Having dessert first will spoil your appetite.”

“Oh God, this is exactly like finding out your parents are having sex,” moaned Clint behind them, distraught.

“Well, you’re alive. You should be thankful for that,” retorted Natasha. Clint glared at her but continued to look at Tony and Steve, disbelievingly. Tony sniggered under his breath. Behind them, Natasha scoffed, “Men,” as she walked away.

“Go get dressed, I’m not going anywhere without you,” whispered Tony so that only Steve’s super-hearing could pick it up.

*~*~*~*~*~

After an hour answering phone calls and text messages from various people both inquiring and congratulating him, attending to uninvited house guests who insisted on knowing what had happened, and waiting for Steve to finish getting dressed, the two made it to the parking garage a little worse for wear.

“You pick a car.” Tony said as he pointed out all their options. Steve studied his choices carefully before deciding on a vintage car at the end of the lot. They walked to the car, quietly, holding hands as they went.

Once seated, Tony said. “Why’d I know you’d pick this car? You’re so predictable.”

“Tony, don’t ruin it,” said Steve fondly, as he leaned into the leather.

Tony lowered his sunglasses as he adjusted his rear view mirror. “Why’d we have to tell them the truth?” said Tony, earnestly.

The sudden change in conversation made Steve pause, “– Tony, the better question would be: why’d you think we’d have to lie?” He waited for an answer but when none came, he continued, “You once told me the best ideas are the simplest. Lies are the reason we’re in this mess. Trust me, it’ll be fine.”

Tony responded, as he backed out of the parking spot, “I really hope you’re right.”

**Author's Note:**

> A little as to why I wrote this and why I hope it's cathartic:
> 
> In this version of events, the Time Gem never appears. For Steve, each jump only serves as a reminder of the past: of choices made and actions taken.
> 
> It's no secret that one of the underlying themes of Avengers v5 is the deterioration of Steve and Tony's relationship, which I resent because it boils down to their unwillingness to communicate with each other: a lesson they supposedly learned in Civil War. They're both so steadfast in their decisions that they fail to see how detrimental arguing is. So, in this version of things, they do argue - because it's imperative for them to do so - but ultimately, just arguing is not constructive. 
> 
> I'm frustrated by this idea that life and death are these mutually exclusive concepts because they're not. It's a myth that permeates so many facets of life to my chagrin. From death, new life springs forth; death is imminent for all living things. Akin to the yin and yang symbols: there's a bit of each in the other. I think it's apparent that Steve and Tony need each other, which is why pitting them against each other only results in mutually assured self-destruction.
> 
> You can follow me on [Tumblr](http://lavengadoraaa.tumblr.com).


End file.
